


Outside of Everything

by BoWritesStuff



Series: Oneshots! [2]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 08:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15703224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoWritesStuff/pseuds/BoWritesStuff
Summary: Arin's dissociating and Dan doesn't quite know how to handle the situation.





	Outside of Everything

Yeah, he’s fine. 

He’ll be okay. 

He’s just zoning out. 

He’s just had a long day. 

Dan thought that this was normal. It happens after conventions sometimes, when Arin is too tired or didn’t have fun, he kinda zones out. You can’t do anything to drag him back to reality, he’ll just just come back when he gets better. Dan doesn’t really know what it is, or how to fix it, but Arin always comes back in the end. 

They don’t really talk about it. Dan doesn’t like it, having this glassy eyed person next to him, having everything that makes Arin himself drain out of him, leaving this powered down body. Arin doesn’t really understand himself, but it’s like someone put binoculars in front of his eyes and unfocused them. His brain gets fuzzy and he can’t get details down like he usually does. 

What’s he wearing? What time is it? Where is he? When’s the last time he ate? He can’t tell you when he’s in that trance. His brain just doesn’t work like that. He doesn’t like talking about it. It’s weird having this thing in his brain, when he just can’t control anything. It feels like there’s a gap between his brain and the rest of his body and nothing works. He doesn’t like talking about things he doesn’t understand, especially when it’s about himself. 

The same thing was happening right now. Dan had been driving for the last eight hours. Usually by now, Arin would have snapped out, but there were no hints that he was going to get better. But usually, there weren’t hints anyways. The sky was starting to get dark, and Dan was finding himself nodding off. The next motel was still two and a half hours away and they were still half a day’s drive away from home. Dan wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to stay for the next three hours, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let Arin drive when he was like this. 

He turned to Arin. It was a little difficult to see him in the darkness, but there was something wrong. Something was wrong. Something in Dan’s chest stopped, and he checked the rearview mirror. There was no one. He pulled the car over to the shoulder, and turned on one of the lights in the car. 

Arin still had the blurry look in his eyes, like he was trying to look past the horizon. 

And he was crying.   
“Arin?” Dan asked. He wasn’t sure if Arin could hear him when he was like this. More often than not, Dan didn’t get an answer when he talked to Arin, but then again he didn’t push for answers when he talked to Arin in these moods. “Arin?” he tried again. 

More tears. 

It was eerie how silent he was, not a single hitch in his breathing, not a single sob, nothing. It was like he didn’t even know that he was crying. Maybe he didn’t. 

“Arin? Are you okay?” Dan didn’t know what to do. He unclipped his seatbelt, and leaned over to him, like maybe if he reached out to Arin physically it might make something happen in his mind. Still nothing, just more tears. 

Dan was panicking. This was scary, like something out of a horror movie or one of those nightmares that don’t make sense. The darkness seemed less polished now and more rough and cold. 

And it was so strange to be panicking over someone so calm. 

“Arin? You’re scaring me, can you hear me? Arin?” Dan placed a hand on Arin’s arm. It’s like he can’t even feel it. Maybe he can’t. “Arin? It’s me, Dan. I...You can hear me. I know you can. You just have to come to me, c’mon. I don’t like this.” 

It’s unsettling, like bugs under his skin. Dan wants to wash them off, he wants to shake them off, he wants to itch his skin off. This doesn’t feel right. It’s one of those weird feelings in your gut, one that refuses to be ignored but refuses to give an answer. 

Then something snaps. 

Dan’s crying. His grip on Arin’s arm gets tighter. 

“Arin? Arin!” Dan shakes his arm a little, but it doesn’t do anything. He isn’t sure if this is safe, to wake up Arin from his trance like this, but he doesn’t know what else to do. “Arin wake up! Wake up!” 

There’s a shift in Arin’s eyes, like his soul is slowly returning. He blinks a few times, and his brows furrow. His hand goes up to his face, and he’s confused as why he’s crying. Dan stays still, watching. He doesn’t want to do that again. 

“Dan?” Arin asks. “What happened?” It’s like emotions are flooding him again, making him Arin again. His voice is raspy and soft, like he had forgotten how to speak. It’s the best thing that Dan’s heard in a long, long time. 

“I...I don’t really know. I was just driving and then I looked over...I looked over at you and you were crying.” Dan’s voice is as shaky and soft as Arin’s. He’s thinking, the gears are turning. It takes a while, but Dan let’s him. He needs this time, too. 

“Are you okay, Dan?” 

Something snaps again. Like someone is cutting at high strung heartstrings. 

He’s crying again. One of Arin’s hand is on his shoulder, and the other is on Dan’s hand. 

“It was so scary,” Dan takes a shuddering breath, “I didn’t even know what to do. I didn’t know what to do. I thought that it was normal. I shouldn’t think that this is normal. It might hurt you one day!” Dan yells, punching the steering wheel. He feels a sharp pain, and it brings him a little closer to sanity. Pain keeps people tethered. 

“I know, I know. It wasn’t your fault, Danny. Listen to me. Listen to me.” Dan listens, expecting Arin to say something. Instead, it’s his breathing, slow and even. His breathing starts to mimic what he hears, and his chest stops heaving. 

“I’m so sorry that happened.” Arin apologizes. There’s a part of Danny that’s angry. He should have known that this would hurt them. He should have been more careful. He shouldn’t just dismiss this problem as normal. 

He should have done so much more. 

It takes a few moments, a few seconds between heartbeats for them to calm. The nighttime sky watches over them, worried, blinking stars wondering what will happen next. 

“God, Dan it’s almost two in the morning.” Arin finally realizes after looking at the small, glowing numbers. Dan nods, too tired to reply. “You’re exhausted.” It’s not a question. Dan nods to that, too. 

“How much further?” 

“Maybe two hours.”   
“I’ll drive.” Arin says immediately. Danny nods again. He’s nodding off now. They get out of the car, and while circling around the car to switch seats, they hug. Breathing out of sync, faces squished against shoulders, faces still wet from tears. 

“Thanks.” 

“Thanks.” 

They get back in the car, and they both buckle up. 

“Are you sure you can drive the rest of the way?” Dan asks, his voice still very, very small. 

“I’m fine. Not even tired, man. I just basically slept with my eyes open for ten hours.” He tries to joke, but there’s something about the way that Dan’s curled up and hunched. “Trust me, Dan. I’ll get us home safe.” 

Dan looks up Arin. There’s the tiniest bit of the foggy look in the corner of his eyes, and there’s this look of guilt in his face. 

“I trust you.”


End file.
